Moving ON Up

Happy hump day... I just wanted to let everyone know I am switch from blogger to wordpress... So I won't be posting for a few days. My address will stay the same at www.mrsttc.com but we will have a new look. Exciting things to come!! :)

Alone In Crowded Room

I sit there staring at a room of children laughing and playing and I'm alone. I stand outside and watch as their little faces light up as they open their Easter eggs and I'm alone. I feel my husbands hand on my back and his understanding eyes watching me as I fight back tears and I'm still alone.

Does anyone else on this infertility ferris  wheel feel this way? I hate feeling alone but no matter how much I share its still like I'm trapped in my head and nobody else can truly understand what's going on in there. 

I hate looking at these little children and babies that I am surrounded by at holidays and feeling sad. They mean so much to me and yet I guard myself from truly interacting with them. I never thought I would be here. 3 years later, 2 failed IVF's and no baby. I've never been bitter, I've never understood it but now I fight it everyday. 

Tomorrow starts a new day though and a new chapter in our journey. We are taking a couple months off before we start another round. We have a lot of questions for our RE and may be seeking a second opinion. My biggest goal is to lose 20-30 pounds before we start again. I know it's going to be hard and I know it's going to take A LOT of work but I have to make sure my body is in the best place it can be before we give this another shot. So wish me luck and say some prayers we really need it. 

Staying strong... Mrs. TTC