Does anyone else on this infertility ferris wheel feel this way? I hate feeling alone but no matter how much I share its still like I'm trapped in my head and nobody else can truly understand what's going on in there.
I hate looking at these little children and babies that I am surrounded by at holidays and feeling sad. They mean so much to me and yet I guard myself from truly interacting with them. I never thought I would be here. 3 years later, 2 failed IVF's and no baby. I've never been bitter, I've never understood it but now I fight it everyday.
Tomorrow starts a new day though and a new chapter in our journey. We are taking a couple months off before we start another round. We have a lot of questions for our RE and may be seeking a second opinion. My biggest goal is to lose 20-30 pounds before we start again. I know it's going to be hard and I know it's going to take A LOT of work but I have to make sure my body is in the best place it can be before we give this another shot. So wish me luck and say some prayers we really need it.
Staying strong... Mrs. TTC
My husband and I went to Easter services and the children's choir was singing, while everyone else was smiling and oohing over them I got tears in my eyes. It is horrible when something that should make you smile fills you with saddness.
ReplyDeleteGood luck witht he new RE!
I can't do church on Mother's day. I don't do baby showers. I waited with a friend and the school gates one day and that was a huge mistake. I was looking at all the children and almost searching for my, non-existent child. Yes, I feel alone in that I feel left out. I feel left behind. I really hope that this cycle is it for you and that you get a good new RE who has something productive to offer.
ReplyDeleteHolidays are so hard. Best wishes to you as you take time off between cycles. Hugs.
ReplyDeletegood post.. thanks for sharing and also check for best IVF centre in bangalore
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